The Only Reason You Need to Get Outta Town This New Year's

Guess who's coming to town this New Year's Eve? That's right, the world's most hateful celebrity, Paris Hilton. This information came to me as a sting in the tail of an unsurprising fluff piece in the SMH about Paris' brand new, life size barbie car that she bought herself for Christmas. The new "barbie car" is a pink Bentley valued at around $200,000 and even has "anti-paparazzi" window tinting. If only City of Sydney would lash out and install some anti-Paris tinting on our fair city for the new year period.

Tinky Christmas Card Photo Shoot

Ever the consumate professional, Tinky posed for her yearly Christmas card photo shoot this afternoon. Despite overcast weather and what she described as 'a deeply embarrassing outfit that demeans us both' we managed to get the shot.

See for yourself. For my money, the first shot is the best. She looks real grumpy in some of the others ... 

Independent Cinema Closures - Part I

I've been getting around to writing something on this issue for a couple of years. And yes, this is going to be one of those fist-banging, impassioned plea type posts. It's also a cautionary tale along the lines of Don't Let Your Local (or not so local) Indie Cinema Close Down.

To begin. Ahem. 

When I was a girl, there were heaps of indie cinemas in Sydney. Let's see if I can remember them all ... the Valhalla in Glebe, the Mandolin in town, the Roma on George Street, the Walker Street Cinema in North Sydney, the Stanmore (Twin?) Cinema, the Greater Union on Pitt Street and the one that used to play a constant rotation of John Waters and Russ Meyers films - the Encore. Needless to say, all these fine indies are now long gone and with them the rich indie cinema culture that I used to so enjoy as a teen and 20 something.

I remember seeing Leon The Pig Farmer and Chasing Amy at the Walker Street in my lower north shore days (don't tell anyone, please). Oh, and who could forget seeing Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer at the Mandolin Cinema .... and of course there was the heart wrenching travesty of the Dendy Martin Place closing to make way for a *cough, splutter* Harvey Norman electronics store. Now that really hurts. I remember taking myself off to see Burnt By The Sun at Dendy Martin Place one work day afternoon. Memories and all that. 

Thank Christ we've still got the Chauvel and the Orpheum!

It wasn't all beer and skittles though. The Stanmore Cinema was pretty overpriced for what you got and had next to no ambience. And I remember numerous times gagging on the smell of rising damp in the main theatre of the Valhalla. To make matters worse, the uber-cool Valhalla staff didn't seem to grasp the technology of properly carbonating the post mix soft drinks, so you always ended up with a flat coke or fanta. AND sometimes they would leave the outer door to Hereford Street and the cinema doors open, so you could hear passing cars during the movie. And the last film I saw at the Val was an extremely disappointing French film called Red Lights. BUT that's no reason to turn the Valhalla into commercial offices. Come on! That place was a mecca in the 90's. I saw almost all the good films there - Naked Lunch, Barton Fink and Delicatessen for a start.

I'd like to provide some proper history on the closure of indie cinemas in Sydney over the years, but that will require some research and I haven't really gotten around to doing any of that yet. Plus there were some significant closures that happened when I was a bit too young to remember, like the Regent on the corner of Bathurst & George Sts. Now replaced by a revolting tower block and crap arse shops at the base. Hence, the promise of an 'Independent Cinema Closures - Part II'. 

Stay tuned.

Patricia Piccinini's Related Individuals at Roslyn Oxley9

Alerted by a favourable review in the SMH, I set out the see the infamous Roslyn Oxley9 gallery for myself, sans the witch of the hour, Bill Henson. Piccinini's work in this exhibition is right up my alley. All about the blurry line between human and animal and the idea of empathising with what we regard as 'other'. 

I had a sneaky poke of a couple of the works, Doubting Thomas and The Long Awaited, to see what they felt like. Latexy is the answer, but that alone doesn't really convey how the attention to detail, such as hair and skin discolouration, conspired to create such lifelike fantastical creatures both human and non.

The Long Awaited can be yours for a respectable $220,000.

More on the topic of Ice Cream Sandwiches

I don't think it's possible to consume too many Monaco Bars. As mentioned in a previous post, they are both yummy and delicious. But don't let your devotion to the Monaco Bar blind you to the charms of other ice cream sandwiches. I am not talking about the hugely disappointing Maxibon, which is stupidly named and stupidly constructed. Nay, I speak of an ice cream sandwich that is totally worth tracking down - Pat and Stick's. So fucken good. So far I have only discovered them in two locations, the Chauvel Cinema in Paddington and The Carlton Deli in Glebe, but there is a list of stockists on the website and apparently they turn up at farmer's markets too.

The Pat and Stick's ice cream sandwich comes in a selection of yummo flavours: Vanilla Lace, Vanilla Choc (Monaco Baresque), Caramel Pecan, Choclate Lace, Double Chocolate, Espresso Lace, Mochaccino and Strawberry Choc Chip.

Need any more encouragement to try a Pat and Stick's ice cream sandwich? Well, I don't know what to tell ya.

* Oh, and all appetising pics have been er, borrowed from the Pat and Stick's website. Thanks guys!

Freaking Out Bob Carr and Drinking Nudies

Gosh, I'm a natural with politicians. I attended the Voiceless Awards night at The Mint last week. All the usual suspects were there - Malcolm Caulfield, Katrina Sharman, Angela Radich, Stephen Lee, Rasha Skybey, John Mancy, Nick Patrick, Brian Sherman, Ondine Sherman and Maryland Wilson. The tight-knit group that is the Australian animal rights law community, and some of my favourite people. We stood around before the awards bit kicked off, drinking Nudies and chatting about live exports and kangaroo culling. You know, normal party conversation.

Hugo Weaving is the Voiceless spokesperson/mascot, so he hung around looking unshaven and famous and discharged his duties by shaking hands with the awards recipients.

After the awards were handed out Bob Carr launched the new Voiceless report From Nest to Nugget. His speech was impressive and he spoke of the 'killer facts' in the report that ultimately win the animal rights debate. Some time after that I was waiting outside for MBH to pick me up when Bob Carr sauntered outside to wait for his driver. I said 'Good speech Bob' but I didn't expect him to come over and strike up a conversation. Unfortunately, I immediately developed a bad case of blathermouth and said many, many irrelevant, embarrassing and downright weirdy things. He looked deeply relieved when his carr (geddit?) arrived and he sprinted into it and off into the night.

For The Love Of A Two-Faced Kitten ?

Yesterday a two-faced kitten was born in Perth (see above, in case you didn't already notice). Apparently it eats out of only one mouth but meows out of both simultaneously. What a plucky little blighter!! (or blighters).

The second most interesting thing about this event is that the vet nurse who assisted in the delivery of the kitten remarked "I have seen cats with two tails and extra legs, but not this." Apparently Perth, WA is the place to be for feline deformities.

Come On Spring, Do Your Thing

Don't you just love spring? Yeah, I know it's been happening for a couple of months now but I look forward to seeing the Jacaranda in flower all winter long, and when the purple rain begins, well it's a thing of magic. But spare a thought for the equally glorious Illawarra Flame Tree, a tree which has the temerity to loose all its leaves and flower bright red every spring. I have decided that I love the flame tree and all her red flaming beauty.

Here is a picture.

Sea Shepherd Conservation Society Fundraiser

MBH and I attended the Sea Shepherd fundraiser at the Argyle Hotel last night. We were drawn by the promise of hearing the great man, Captain Paul Watson, speak of his experiences protecting marine life since the late 1960's. Cpt. Watson was one of the founding members of Greenpeace, although he now criticises the organisation for wasting money on advertising campaigns and trying to get more money, and founded the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society (SSCS) in 1977. All Sea Shepherd funding is used directly to protect marine life.

The mission statement of the SSCS is to "end the destruction of habitat and slaughter of wildlife in the world's oceans in order to conserve and protect ecosystems and species.

Sea Shepherd uses innovative direct-action tactics to investigate, document and take action when necessary to expose and confront illegal activities on the high seas. By safeguarding the biodiversity of our delicately-balanced ocean ecosystems, Sea Shepherd works to ensure their survival for future generations."

Sea Shepherd's operations are expensive, hence the fundraising event. It costs $13,000 per day to run an anti-whaling boat, even though the boats are crewed by volunteers. Years ago they had trouble attracting volunteers but now they receive more than 500 applications from volunteer crew members for each mission. I guess I'm not the only one to fantasise about running away to join Sea Shepherd and become an "eco-terrorist".

Cpt. Watson emphasised in his speech that despite media hyperbole to the contrary, the SSCS are an organisation that advocates non-violent intervention. I was talking to a friend about this issue today. He had heard that Sea Shepherd was responsible for pouring acid on the deck of a whaling ship, which apparently was widely reported by the media. What they did do was lob spoiled butter (aka butyric acid) onto the deck, which causes it to become slippery and therefore difficult to walk on.

Cpt. Watson spoke eloquently and compassionately about his decades of work protecting whales, sharks and seals. He spoke of the cries of pain made by a whale when it is harpooned. He also spoke of the moment of profound understanding he shared with a male sperm whale that was harpooned in the skull as it breached the water to protect a female from the same pod who had also been harpooned.

There is a wealth of fascinating information on the Sea Shepherd website, including the fact that a sperm whale's brain size is 9000 cubic centimetres (the largest on the planet), much bigger than the human brain at a pathetic 1300 cubic centimetres. 

Just Another (Ku)brick in the Wall

Welcome to Stanley Kubrick week on SBS!

The schedule is as follows:

Sunday, 16 November, 9:35pm - 2001: Space Odyssey (1968)

Tuesday, 18 November, 11:40pm - Lolita (1962)

Wednesday, 19 November, 10:30pm - Barry Lyndon (1975)

Thursday, 20 November, 10:05pm - The Shining (1980)

Friday, 21 Nobember, 10:00pm - A Clockwork Orange (1971)

Saturday, 22 November 10:00pm - Full Metal Jacket (1987)

I haven't seen Lolita, Barry Lyndon or Full Metal Jacket, so I'm looking forward to a full week ahead of Kubricky old favourites and new surprises.

Thank God that bloody awful Eyes Wide Shut isn't making an appearance!

The Monaco Bar is Baaaa-ack!

Looks like all our hard work has paid off. Some time ago I forwarded an online petition around to all my nearest and dearest to encourage "them" to bring the Monaco Bar back. Well, last night MBH and were at home watching a dvd on the sofa when we decided it would be a great idea to visit the corner shop for an icecream or some other delicious treat. I was just about to go with ole faithful (the Magnum Ego) when MBH casually mentioned that the freezer cabinet also contained ..... Monaco Bars!!

Luckily I bought two for myself because when we got back home we both stood at the front door, each assuming that the other one had brought the house key. Locked out! So we wound up at the pub waiting for one of our flatties to get home. Still, it was totally worth it. 

Oh, how I had grieved them all these years! Monaco Bars were my out and out favourite ice cream when I was a child/adolescent and now I get to enjoy them all over again. 

In summary, Monaco Bars. Yum.

* Please note, the top two pics are borrowed from the "A Table For Two" blogsite. 

Arresting Bumper Stickers - Part I

Are bumper stickers a window into the soul? I like to imagine the type of person that belongs to a particular bumper sticker, and why they chose to say that particular thing about themselves and/or their interests for the world to see. Stickers like 'I fish and I vote' don't tend to arouse too much interest, nor the ubiquitous 'Your Rights At Work' campaign stickers. They are simply too common and too broad. Unions and lobby groups send those kind out and sometimes the members use them. End of story from my perspective. Although, I still remember the time I saw an Energy Australia car parked in Centennial Park sporting a sticker reading 'I Work and I Vote', which was nicely counterpointed by the 'worker' sleeping soundly within the vehicle. As one of my friends said, 'I Nap And I Vote' doesn't have quite the same ring to it.

Another time I was stopped behind a van in traffic and noticed with mounting delight a full array of animal rights bumper stickers pretty much all over the back doors and window of the van. First I saw an Animals Australia sticker: 'Live Export: Indefensible' and Animal Lib's 'Ban Battery Cages' and the Animal Lib logo sticker, plus lots more that I am well acquainted with along the meat-is-murder lines and the oft-seen Greenpeace sticker. When the lights changed I attempted to drive up next to their passenger window so I could offer some acknowledgement of kinship. I don't really know what I was going to do, and I was spared the decision when they turned right ahead of me and out of my life.

Other bumper stickers grab my attention for entirely different reasons. The picture, above, illustrates a perfect example of that 'other' kind of bumper sticker. The kind that makes me feel that if I met the owner of sticker at a dinner party it would be a decidedly uncomfortable situation. There might even be tension and hostility if alcohol had already sufficiently disinhibited us before we met. Having said that, I'd love to meet the owner of this particular bumper sticker. The sticker's savage poetry intrigued me. When I first saw it I even wondered where such a thing could be bought!

I've never quite had the brass monkeys to put a bumper sticker on my own vehicle. The boring reason is they cause uneven fading on the duco and the more convincing one is the thought that everyone will think I'm a maddie. And who could possibly stop at one sticker? All too hard, which is why my ride has always been sans sticker.

Man on Wire Entertains Woman in Cinema

After a short, hot, crowded shuffle through the stalls of the Newtown Festival on Sunday we were ready to escape to the cool, dark confines of the Dendy cinema to watch 'Man On Wire'. I wasn't entirely sure what to expect, but knew that the doco received unanimously good reviews from critics and won the Grand Jury Prize for World Cinema Documentary at Cannes.

No wonder it was such an entertaining experience. Previously, I had carried a vague smudge of memory around that someone a long, long time ago walked between the Twin Towers, but I had never for a minute stopped to consider the beauty and magnitude of such an act.

Much of the documentary focused on the planning and preparations for "the coup" which eventuated on August 7, 1974 (a bit more than 3 months after I was born). Phillipe Petit (the wire walker) relied heavily on his circle of friends, and for the final act on a small number of ring-ins, to achieve such an amazing feat. All the main players were interviewed 27 years on, and they all appear to recall the events with perfect clarity and a depth of emotion. Petit's retelling of the events was hilarious and deeply engaging, however the real hero of the piece emerges as we discover that the practical planning behind the wire walk was masterminded by Petit's close friend Jean-Louis Blondeau. I don't want to ruin the rest of the story other than to say that the viewer is left with a somewhat tarnished admiration for Petit, but admiration nevertheless.

One interesting fact about Phillipe Petit's high wire antics that I had not known prior to seeing the film is that Petit walked suspended between the northern pylons of the Sydney Harbour Bridge in 1973. The old footage of the Bridge is pure gold and reason enough to see the film.

Rocket! Ye-eah!

It all started because of My Name Is Earl. If you have watched the show you may already know that one of Earl's personality traits is his love of Def Leppard. In one episode he punctuates a particularly defensive soliloquy with 'You can all pour some sugar on that!'. At that moment, something stirred within me. Something from the deep, dark recesses of time. The 80's. It all came flooding back to me after being forgotten for so long.

As it turns out, I love Def Leppard.

I expressed my rediscovered love by buying a copy of 'Hysteria' on special at JB Hi Fi. My original copy is on vinyl, and well-worn I can assure you. As MBH says, Hysteria has been on high rotation in the car for at least a year and he groans a weary groan when he hears the first bars of 'Women'. Poor thing. But it was his idea to get tickets for their concert all those months ago when he saw they were touring oz. At first I thought it was taking the 80's nostalgia thing a bit too far at 99 bucks a ticket, but I changed my mind pretty quick which is why we found ourselves at the Acer Arena on Wednesday, 5th November on a mild summery evening.

The Galvatrons were up first and not bad, although they were dwarfed by all the amps and speakers on stage for Cheap Trick and Def Leppard. Cheap Trick were up next and it seems they still know how to crank it after all these years. I sang along heartily to 'The Flame' and MBH seemed to know the rest of their stuff quite well.

By the time Cheap Trick had wound up their set I felt like we'd already seen a full show, but I was grossly mistaken. When DL hit the stage everyone went mad. They played Rocket first, then Animal, followed by some songs from their new album (a brave choice). The sound was pumping, the screens alternated between rockin' clips and close ups of the performers. And they're not in back shape for 50 year old men. My goodness, that lead guitarist is as buff and well built as a 20 year old lumber jack!

I looked the lead guitarist up on Wiki when we got home and I can now tell you that his name is Phil Collen, he's from East London, has been with the band since 1982 and he's a vegetarian. He's even done some work for PETA. Who knew I could love them even more?!?

I only got a couple of photos 'cause my mobile was running out of batteries and I had hoped to video 'Pour Some Sugar On Me' but I only got a few seconds before the batteries completely died. Not to worry, it was a small glitch in an otherwise perfect evening. I danced and sang my way through PSSOM and thoroughly enjoyed myself.

Now that I have seen Def Leppard in concert I can unashamedly say 3 things:

(1) They rock.

(2) I own a Def Leppard t-shirt.

(3) The drummer really does only have one arm.

Come back soon guys!

Sydney Open 2008

A friend invited me to the Sydney Open a couple of years ago and I thought she was talking about the tennis. It turns out the Sydney Open is in fact a city discover tour of historically and architecturally significant buildings in and around Sydney, run by the Historic Houses Trust (HHT). The Open is on every second year and it ran for the seventh time in 2008. Tops.

The Tank Stream tour sold out in the blink of an eye, so MBH got us City Pass tickets instead which gave us access to 70 buildings for the day (2 November 2008). We agreed to try and get around to about 14 properties but we only managed 11 by the end of the day, mainly due to queueing and sore feet. We made our choices by prioritising Art Deco buildings and discounted buildings that we already knew well such as St Marys Cathedral or buildings that could be easily accessed in ordinary circumstances like the Commonwealth Bank at Martin Place.

* Please note, much of the text below is unashamedly lifted from the Sydney Open 2008 guidebook.

1. AMP Building

Our first stop was the AMP building on Albert Street at Circular Quay, reputable due to its status as Australia's first skyscraper, built in 1962. We waited for at least half an hour in the queue, as they were only allowing one group of 15 up at a time. When we arrived at level 26 we were shown around a rather plush and retro style board room and then out onto the viewing platform to take some photos. Some shots of the view above.

2. BMA House

BMA House, built in 1928-1930, on Macquarie Street was designed by the inter-war architects Fowell and McConnel in an Art Deco style, an early Sydney skyscraper embellished with medieval and Gothic decoration. Todd Hall was the meeting hall and lecture theatre for the British Medical Association until 1979. Yawn.

3. City Mutual Building

Another Art Deco building on Hunter Street, the City Mutual Building was designed by Emil Sodersten and built in 1934-36. City Mutual was the first private office building in Sydney to be air conditioned. We were allowed to access Level 2 and found a lovely, wood panelled board room with funky little deco kitchenette and bathroom. Otherwise a bit underwhelming, although I've always admired City Mutual from the street. It would have been better if greater access to the building was allowed.

4. Deutsche Bank Place

MBH took one look at the glass lifts on the outside wall of the building and decided to sit this one out. I jumped in a lift up to Level 28 reception where I saw a fantastic collection of modern art, presumably owned by some overpriced law firm or other. The views were pretty good too, and they should be since Deutsche stands at the highest point of the Sydney CBD. I caught one of the lifts facing the outside of the building on the way back down and couldn't suppress my nervous laughter as we plumetted every so smoothly to the ground. You can ride these lifts any time and I highly recommend it!

5. AWA Building

Another big queue at this one and we were told to expect a 45 minute wait. Some people ditched the queue, but we persisted. As far as opens go this was a good one. We got to climb up to the base of the tower (see pic). Amalgamated Wireless Australia head office building, built in 1939, was the tallest structure in Sydney for decades. Not surprisingly, the AWA Building is covered by a Permanent Conservation Order.

A fact that the guide doesn't mention but one that quite a lot of Sydneysiders know is that the AWA Tower makes an appearance in The Matrix. Cool or what?

6. Westpac Bank

I wasn't expecting much from the old Bank of New South Wales headquarters, but the Westpac Bank building on George Street, built 1927-1932, was a treasure trove of interesting little snippets about 'the olden days' of banking. For instance, all bank employees used to armed with a gun and there even used to be a rifle range on the roof for target practice. How banking has changed!

The building itself is impressive, like many other bank flagships of the time, highly decorated with vast high ceilings. The safe deposit vault was open and we wandered around imagining all the jewels and passports and share certificates that must be contained within each inconspicious little box. There were many mirrors in the room, confirming my suspicion that many expensive jewels are imprisoned here.

7. Architectus

We weren't intending to visit Architechus but we ended up in the lift at the Bank and arrived on level 3 somewhat bemused, but curious. Apparently we weren't the first group to visit by accident. As we stepped out of the lift, a volunteer politely asked us whether we knew where we were. MBH said "not reallt, but we're here now!" in a very cheerful and that seemed to assauge her concern. What we saw was a very bloody funky open plan office, the kind you would expect a firm of architects to inhabit. The office has an enviable view of Martin Place.

8. National Mutual Building

After Architectus, we trotted over the road to the National Mutual Building. Built 1891-1895 and restored 1984-1986, this one was designed by Edward Raht in an early romaneque style. Its central feature is a central light well and grand staircase, topped by a stained glass ceiling. Check it out next time you pass 348-352 George Street.

9. The Castlereagh Boutique Hotel - NSW Masonic Club

Yet another Art Deco building, the hotel on Castlereagh Street was built in 1927 and designed by Claude William Chambers. I found it rather charming, but there were a few too many framed portraits of the Queen for my liking.

10. The Great Synagogue

Situated on Elizabeth Street, built in 1878 and designed by Thomas Rowe, the Great Synagogue is a composite of Romanesque and Byzantine influences with Gothic detailing. The best bit was MBH wearing a yamika (not sure of the correct spelling).

11. Sydney Water Head Office

This, the final building on our list, had a sizable queue at the entrance. Come on! We waited in a grumpy and tired way, but not as grumpy and tired as the weirdy looking guy behind us obviously was! He alternated between complaining out loud about the queue and pressing himself into my back in a most non-personal space respecting way. When one of the volunteers offered an extra space in the group ahead of us I offered him up immediately from the group. We were much better off without the angry and possibly mad vibe he was exuding. When it was our turn we were treated to a grand example of the horrible things people did to beautiful buildings in the 1960's. They even chopped the main entrance in half horizontally to stick more office space in at some point. Goodness!

We were escorted around the corridors of level 7, which had a creepy, haunted hospital kind of ambience. Our guide, a Sydney Water employee (of many years I'm guessing) enthusiastically showed us into the men's toilets so we could see the Art Deco urinals. No, really! I took a photo but my heart wasn't really in it, exhausted as I was by the end of the day.

Live Triumphantly

Feel like living triumphantly? You may want to consider moving to the new 'Trio' apartments in the City Quarter. According to the website: "Trio is boldly individual, yet part of something greater". Would that be the 5,000 or so other apartments already crammed into the old Children's Hospital site in Camperdown?

So what does the luxurious, yet sterile Trio "complex" have to offer its inhabitants? Again, according to the website: "Trio's closest pool will be glorious. At 50m in length with an infinity edge down one side over which water gently tumbles it will be the perfect relaxation spot." I wonder if they're talking about the Ian Thorpe Aquatic Centre in Ultimo?

On a related note, has anyone ever read the JG Ballard book 'Highrise'? For some reason, the Trio building enlivens this book in my mind.

What I would really like to know is what kind of human being is attracted to spend money on a marketing campaign that asks you to 'live triumphantly'. Comments most welcome... 

The Burlesque Hour@Spiegeltent

It was with excitement and anticipation that we queued up for The Burlesque Hour at the Spiegeltent in the Opera House forecourt on Saturday evening. We rushed in and secured our seats near the stage (thankfully, not too near the stage as it turned out). Things started off bemusingly with Maude Davey stepping onto the stage in a long, black gown bearing a bowl of strawberries. She walked deliberately and seductively through the audience offering strawberries to audience members before introducing the show. The next performance, by Yumi Umiumare dressed as a school girl, was a frenzied explosion of underwear and energy. Next entered my favourite performer of the evening, Azaria Universe wearing a white body stocking and balancing on a Swiss ball. 

Moira Finucane's performances were highly strung, sexual, menacing and ironic all at the same time and she has a penchant for using liquid in her performances, red sauce and milk in vast quantities. Although by the time she performed her dance of the many balloons I had warmed to her naughty, horror movie monster stage presence. 

However, my favourite performances were both by the marvellous Azaria Universe. Her trapese work, executed while wearing tight elastics on her arms, legs and trunk (which made her look like a very feminine Michelin Man) was compelling. And her naked-except-for-300-strings-of-pearls rendition of Total Eclipse of the Heart was hysterical AND moving.

Check it out for yourself. The Spiegeltent season is sold out, but the Burlesque Hour will be returning to the Opera House Studio Theatre in January 2009: 

http://www.sydneyoperahouse.com/whatson/theburlesquehour09.aspx

And yes, there is nudity.

Sculpture By The Sea

I invited MDM and MBH to Sculpture By The Sea this weekend. For some reason I misremembered that the exhibition ran from Bondi to Coogee. Finally, I'd have an excuse to catch the 370 bus! I happily endured the 60 odd minutes wending our way through Newtown, Alexandria, Rosebury and Kensington enroute to Coogee. I was a little surprised to note that there were no sculptures immediately in view. Must be just around the northern headland, I thought to myself. It turns out I miscalculated the start (or end) of the exhibition by five beaches (Coogee, Gordon's Bay, Clovelly, Bronte, Tamarama). Still, I haven't ventured to the beach for ages and it was all very Morrissey walking through Waverley Cemetery on a sunny afternoon. MDM was quite a slow walker, and one who required many rest stops, so we didn't see a sculpture until we had been walking for about an hour or more.

We rested briefly at Tamarama before forging into the throng of sculpture spotters. It was very difficult to take a photograph of a sculpture sans little kids crawling over it, but my impatient muttering was rewarded with a few human-less shots. Overall, the standard was good, but I was more interested in re-hydration than art by the time we reached Bondi. Art works that feature animals are always of interest of me, so I enjoyed the dogs roaming the hillside at Tamarama.

Perhaps another visit is in order during the week, in the hope that the crowds will be thinner. 

Post-Bourgeois

Yep, that's me. Well, that's me according to Lisa Pryor of the SMH. She used her fancy words to paint a picture of someone quite like me anyway.

Here are some of the tell-tale signs:

1. Your career does not yield a particularly high income but required years of tertiary study (legal aid lawyer, academic, journalist).

Yep.

2. Your holidays feature expensive air fares and cheap accommodation. You think spending $80 flying to the Gold Coast then $1200 staying at Palazzo Versace would be a gauche waste. Spending $1200 flying to Cambodia then $80 on guest house accommodation for the entire trip makes complete sense.

Hey, show me a cheap flight to Cambodia and I'll take it!

3. You have taken the bourgeois anxiety about discussing money to an extreme. Not only do you think it is naff to talk about money, you think it is naff to care about it at all. Even though your love of beachside living and late-night tapas is totally dependent on it. You would be mortified if anyone thought you recycled Christmas wrapping to save money but if they think you recycle it for environmental reasons, that's fine.

It IS naff to care about money!

4. Your tertiary education makes you sceptical about the way the mass media distil complex academic terms into buzzwords and simplify class dynamics into matters of lifestyle, yet you feel drawn to read such tosh when your own milieu is the topic of discussion.

The fact that I'm blogging about the topic is enough evidence really.

But for me, I'd take the idea (or is it ideals) of post-bourgeoisism further. Not only do I not care about money, after completing 2 burn-out inducing degrees I don't care about knowledge either. These days I'm quite happy to sit back and let my friends and colleagues espouse their sound, evidence-based points of view without feeling the need to hold my own position or appear clever. I suppose its a mild form of benign anti-intellectualism, except that I don't feel any hostility towards intellectuals or intellectual pursuits. In fact, all my friends are terribly clever and it causes me no consternation at all. Nor am I coming from the perspective of a religious fundamentalist or authoritarian dictator. I guess what I'm saying is I'd rather bake cupcakes than watch the news.

The Village Pet Store and Charcoal Grill

I've always resisted saying that I like Banksy. It just seems like such a wank. I mean if Angelina Jolie has done it, it's definitely not cool anymore. But my hat well and truly comes off to his new project, an installation work which critiques our exploitation of animals, called The Village Pet Store and Charcoal Grill. Banksy explores the inherit hypocracy of the human relationship with animals using animatronics in a faux pet store scene. There are animatronic fish fingers swimming in a fish bowl, chicken nuggets pecking at a container of tomato sauce, hot dogs in terrariums, a rabbit applying cosmetics at a mirror, a chimp listening to head phones while watching television and a miserable, old, featherless Tweety-bird in a cage.

Check out The Village Pet Store and Charcoal Grill online and today's SMH article on Banksy's New York show.

Oh, to be in New York this October!

The World's Smallest Sheep

MBH and I spent a mad, mad Saturday looking at houses to buy in the inner west. We saw about 13 or 14 houses in a little under 4 hours, and I can confirm that I was driving in a blind rage by the 3rd or 4th last ones. There were lots'n'lots of nice ones we can't afford in places like Glebe, Annandale and Newtown. You know the houses I'm talking about. I felt like I had to wear a tie to impress them (no prizes for correctly guessing the Simpsons reference, just my eternal respect).

By lunchtime MBH and I were back in home territory checking out some terraces on Darling Street. We were meandering back towards the car when my exhausted gaze fell upon an odd looking creature crawling on the footpath. I stooped, and using one of the glossy real estate brochures as a platform lifted it up to have a closer look. At first it looked exactly like a slater than had been (perhaps inadvertantly) spray-painted white. MBH agreed and I got ready to remonstrate righteously along the lines of "I ask you, what kind of person spray paints a slater!" when I realised that the spray paint was in fact a fluffy or woolly looking substance. As carefully as I could manage after a long, hot day of house-hunting I placed the little fella on the palm of my hand and looked even closer. It looked like the world's smallest sheep!

I showed it to some people smoking on their front porch pretty much right where we were standing. The woman said something inane like "That's not natural!" to which I felt like replying "Actually it is natural, which is what makes it's unusual appearance so interesting" but decided that I wanted a coffee and muffin more than I wanted to create an awkward moment with a stranger, so I moved on.

After some online research we discovered that our pasty little friend is a mealy bug. According to the internet they are a pest, but in my opinion they are ridiculous cute! If only someone would cultivate mealy bugs and sell them as pets ...