Two Thousand and I Don't Think So

Ordinarily I would start a film review post with a spoiler alert, but honestly, the only thing that would "spoil" your enjoyment of 2012 is if you paid money to see it. Luckily, one of my besties paid for my ticket, so the only thing I lost out on was those 2+ hours of my life that I'll never get back.

We saw a preview for the new suped up, hollywoodified Sherlock Holmes movie. On the plus side Robert Downey Jr plays Holmes. On the very, very, very minus side that movie ruiner Jude Law plays Watson. On balance Law sucks more than Downey Jr shines, so I shan't be writing a review of Sherlock Holmes any time soon.

Back to 2012. The lameness begins in the first scene when we meet Adrian Helmsley (Chiwetel Ejiofor), a geological scientist, watching the earth's core bubbling up through a manhole in India. The plot gets less plausible from this point. Woody Harrelson plays a hillbilly conspiracy theorist maddy and John Cusack, who I'm sure we all agree is a lovely chap, plays the unlikely hero who has been thrown into the eye of the catastrophe movie storm. There a annoying kiddies, dull heart felt moments and the most unbelievable plot since Roland Emmerich's last crockbuster. He also directed 10,000BC, The Day After Tomorrow, The Patriot, Godzilla, Independence Day and Stargate. I haven't seen 10,000BC or The Patriot but as with the rest of Emmerich's films you really don't need to. Having said that, I really quite liked The Day After Tomorrow but I may have been distracted by that dishy Jake Gyllenhaal. There are touches of The Poseidon Adventure and every other disaster movie I've ever seen, and basically its The Day After Tomorrow all over again but with fire instead of ice.

My friend and I exchanged "this movie really sucks' " several times during 2012. And for anyone who has seen it, the line "no more pull-ups" had me retching into my handbag. Recommended for ... well no one!

Further Shiny Objects (to line my nest)

I bought a totally shmick-oh new compact digital camera last week. It's the top of the range digital compact from Fuji. It's got all kinds of fanciness that I don't really understand and couldn't be bothered explaining, so instead here's a picture. Shiny.

The Greatest Show on Earth (Episode 3)

Apologies for the delay in posting my response to last week's episode of ALTL. Things have been moving pretty fast around here since MBH went back to work. In fact Episode 4 has whizzed by without me even watching it, which is lucky 'cause I'm over ALTL now. The delicious cringe value has turned to pity and that ain't no fun.

Here are the basic notes I jotted down from Episode 3:

Young Kelly made an impression this week with her proud assertion that "by the end of the night I've drunk myself stupid and I'm either abusing someone or chucking up in a gutter".

Some of the cutaways are witty. Jessica is told to turn to Mrs Shrager or Mrs Harbord if she gets nervous mc'ing the fashion show. Cut to a rather mad and severe looking Mrs Harbord. Titter.

Shiny Objects

Here is something pretty I'd like to get my mits on:

This is the La Sorrentina coffee maker, a reproduction of the Atomic Coffee Maker imported into Australia by the Bon Trading Co from the 60's to the 80's. According to the Bon Trading website the Atomic is still being made, but it is the opinion of some that none have been produced since the factory in Milan burnt down many years ago. Apparently, "new" Atomics are usually cheap knockoffs made in India and lack the quality and attention to detail of the genuine machine. Who knows the truth? Certainly not me. I have had my eye on the La Sorrentina, which is a licensed reproduction but still costs about 450 bucks, which ain't as much as the second hand Atomics!

After much agonising about whether to invest in such a lovely shiny thing I decided not to make the purchase. This is rare for me. MBH calls it having "a bee in my bonnet" but sometimes when such an objay has taken my attention I find it virtually impossible to resist. Somehow, this time I decided on a com-pro-mise and bought a perfectly lovely Bialetti Moka Express instead. Octagonal-y. As you can see, the Bialetti is no slouch in the lovely shiny thing stakes either:

Coffee anyone?

Sydney Cafe Vegetarian Delights

Lately, MBH and I have been checking out a few new cafes hoping to find a couple of cool new spots with good coffee and a decent range of vego options. What we already know is that Kelby's in Marrickville does a great poached eggs with dukkah, sweet potato and fetta, Sideways Cafe in Dulwich Hill does great corn fritters with baby spinach, haloumi and some kind of yummo relish plus the loveliest home made cakes ever, Big Brekky in Petersham does good coffee (but always slow to arrive) and scrambled eggs, Post Cafe in Marrickville offers a very good toasted turkish sandwich with goats cheese, thinly sliced roast pumpkin, baby spinach and sun dried tomato paste, Cinque in Newtown does good pea, mint and haloumi fritters and of course the incomparable italian hot chocolate, Sonoma in Glebe does fantastic coffee and mixed berry muffins, Campos in Newtown is just for a really bloody good coffee, le Petit Creme in Darlinghurst is good for crepe suzette and frites and Kazbah in Balmain is good for porridge with fruit compote, sweet couscous and vegie tagines.

All solid options, but I'm always looking for something new to add to my reportoire of vegetarian cafe goodness. Enter this recent Timeout article: 

http://www.timeoutsydney.com.au/restaurants/sydneysbestfood/sydneys-top-breakfasts.aspx

I've already been to Kazbah, Marigold and Baffi & Mo and I don't plan to visit Bondi or Balmoral any time soon in my searching, so we decided to try Clipper Cafe in Glebe and Bang Bang in Surry Hills. We visited Clipper Cafe on a Saturday morning before popping into the Glebe Record Fair and the joint was jumping. We sat at the end of a long bench seat with the other patrons. The service was friendly and fast and the home made baked beans with poached eggs were tasty but far too salty for me. The decor was pleasant, with white walls, a long wooden bench along one side and stools and high tables on the other side. High up on the opposite wall from where we sat were two bicycles and some retro objays (including an Atomic coffee machine) on shelves. We will certainly return.

The following weekend we met a friend for brunch at BangBang in Surry Hills. There were middle aged hipsters reading the SMH and younger hipsters not reading the SMH and the same bench style seating as Clipper Cafe. We wedged ourselves in next to the older hipsters and ordered our coffees. I had primarily wanted to brunch at BangBang for the promise of Welsh rarebit, which I have nevered tried before. I was curious and ready to have my taste buds blown off. It was ok but not all that I expected. BangBang is kind of an upmarket greasy spoon and therefore is rather meaty. Don't know if we'll be back as I don't have much reason to be in Surry Hills on a weekend morning.

The Greatest Show on Earth (Episode 2)

Oh what a night for reality tv. I must divulge straight away that my favourite moment tonight was Kerryn exclaiming "I just jizzed in me pants" when the girls were told they had a chance to take part in a vintage car motor rally. For me, the expression discloses genuine enthusiasm. I'll have to find a way to use "I just jizzed in me pants" in general conversation like our Kerryn. Even though she hasn't captured much air time yet I feel her star is on the rise.

Other ALTL highlights included the nudist bogan Shari's massive turn around mid-episode. She went from marauding harridan to submissive suck-arse so fast it's almost enough to make her parents sit up and take notice. And who knew a real lady would never open her own car door? Goodness! I have been getting it wrong all these years and I'm sure MBH will be thrilled to know there is yet one more way he can cater to my femininity. So how does it work if I'm driving by myself? Should I park near a good supply of men in the hopes that one will release me from the car? And what do the rules say about climbing out the window? Gosh, ettiquette is a tricky business.

I thought the ladettes would wait till at least week 3 to fall in a tragic heap in Mrs Shrager's arms but tonight not one but two ladettes, Jessica and Kaila were drawn into the bosomosphere, blubbing in their dreadful flat accents about their sad past and hopes for a better future.

Poor Samantha got the flick tonight, and for what? For being a bit hopeless at shelling 4000 quail eggs in half an hour, so a bunch of chinless twats can have a post-rally picnic under ominous British storm clouds, that's what. They always get rid of the frumps early on. No doubt just another predictable tweaking of the reality tv world. But still. Based on lady-like-ish-ness (or the lack of) I reckon that sullen cow Donnelle should have copped it tonight for sure. Waddaya reckon readers? ... readers?

Au revoir Samantha!

Aussie Ladette to Lady is on at 9:30pm Tuesdays on Channel 9.

Thinking Outside the Bottle

I tried to reference The Australian article of the same name. Max Allen wrote it for the Food & Wine section of The Weekend Australian, 3-4 October 2009. But do you think I could find it online to link to this blog post? Nahhhhhhhhhh. I may as well plagarise, since apparently The Australian couldn't be bothered posting this article to its website, but I can't be bothered so I'll just say it's about cool wine labels. Not just cool wine labels, of the type designed to attract young 20 something drinkers, but cool wine labels that are backed up by decent wines. I decided to try some of the bottles mentioned, just to make sure the wines were decent chop.

I've tasted the Ad Hoc Wallflower Riesling and The Killer Pinot Grigio but have yet to lay hands on Mother's Milk by First Drop or Monsters, Monsters Attack by Some Young Punks. The Some Young Punks Website is quite annoying with its applets and suchlike, but with names like The Squid's Fist, Double Love Trouble, Drink'n'Stick, Naked on Roller Skates, Quickie!, The Fire In Her Eyes and Passion Has Red Lips I've gotta get my hands on some.

By the way, Ad Hoc Wallflower Riesling and The Killer Pinot Grigio are heartily recommended. Both can be purchased at Dan Murphy's.