Sunday, December 6, 2009
The Ark Project aka Fabulous But Unnecessary Purchases Part 1
Actually, the 'Part 1' in the title of this post is a little misleading. There are just so many unnecessary purchases in my past, and like past lovers, so easily forgotten when something newer and shinier comes along ...
A few weeks ago I wondered into Mag Nation on King Street, Newtown. My attention was immediately drawn to a fantastic illustrated book/magazine, 'Ark: an Illustrated Animal Bible'. So cool. The idea behind the Ark Project, as the name suggests, is to gather animals from all over the world and 'save' them in the Illustrated Animal Bible. More than 200 illustrators/artists contributed to the book, each providing an illustration of an animal from their part of the world. Australian contributors include Christopher Nielson, Nior, Monaux, Rinzen, Jeremyville, Drew Funk, Cupco and Ghostpatrol.
This afternoon I cracked and muttering something to MBH ran out and bought The Ark book. I just know this time it'll last.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Melissa Shoes
The shoes above were done in collaboration with practically the only fashion designer I actually like, Vivienne Westwood.
Watching the video is imperative.
Chicka-bow-wow!
* the truly madly deeply fabulous thing about Melissa shoes is ... nothing had to die to make them. Sure, some petrochemicals were inconvenienced but its a great result overall. Yay for that!
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Two Thousand and I Don't Think So
We saw a preview for the new suped up, hollywoodified Sherlock Holmes movie. On the plus side Robert Downey Jr plays Holmes. On the very, very, very minus side that movie ruiner Jude Law plays Watson. On balance Law sucks more than Downey Jr shines, so I shan't be writing a review of Sherlock Holmes any time soon.
Back to 2012. The lameness begins in the first scene when we meet Adrian Helmsley (Chiwetel Ejiofor), a geological scientist, watching the earth's core bubbling up through a manhole in India. The plot gets less plausible from this point. Woody Harrelson plays a hillbilly conspiracy theorist maddy and John Cusack, who I'm sure we all agree is a lovely chap, plays the unlikely hero who has been thrown into the eye of the catastrophe movie storm.
The plot goes like this: bigger than usual sun spots are superheating the earth's core and causing the earth's crust to break up. Along comes Adrian Helmsley with an urgent report for one of the US government's top men. For some reason they take him seriously straight away and start building big ships in China. Meanwhile, John Cusack takes his kids camping at Yellowstone and runs into Woody Harrelson, which is bad enough, but Woody's character turns out to be a plot device and tells John about the fate of the planet and that the go'ment is trying to cover it all up. John Cusack decides the best course of action is to round up the family and head to China! What else? Danny Glover plays the President, who goes down with his ship/country and there is a pointless side story about John's character being a writer. Yawn. It's the other annoying touches that really finished 2012 off for me, like one of the characters is a British scientist who wears a lab coat and walks with a limp and a cane. Cliched much? Anyway, they all get on the boats, run into the Himilayas and a month later the earth has reconfigured itself and they all sail off into the sunset.
There are annoying kiddies, dull heart felt moments and the most unbelievable plot since Roland Emmerich's last crockbuster. He also directed 10,000BC, The Day After Tomorrow, The Patriot, Godzilla, Independence Day and Stargate. I haven't seen 10,000BC or The Patriot but as with the rest of Emmerich's films you really don't need to. Having said that, I really quite liked The Day After Tomorrow but I may have been distracted by that dishy Jake Gyllenhaal. There are touches of The Poseidon Adventure and every other disaster movie I've ever seen, and basically its The Day After Tomorrow all over again but with fire instead of ice.
My friend and I exchanged "this movie really sucks' " several times during 2012. And for anyone who has seen it, the line "no more pull-ups" had me retching into my handbag. Recommended for ... well no one!
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Further Shiny Objects (to line my nest)
The Greatest Show on Earth (Episode 3)
Here are the basic notes I jotted down from Episode 3:
Young Kelly made an impression this week with her proud assertion that "by the end of the night I've drunk myself stupid and I'm either abusing someone or chucking up in a gutter".
Some of the cutaways are witty. Jessica is told to turn to Mrs Shrager or Mrs Harbord if she gets nervous mc'ing the fashion show. Cut to a rather mad and severe looking Mrs Harbord. Titter.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Shiny Objects
Friday, October 30, 2009
Sydney Cafe Vegetarian Delights
All solid options, but I'm always looking for something new to add to my reportoire of vegetarian cafe goodness. Enter this recent Timeout article:
http://www.timeoutsydney.com.au/restaurants/sydneysbestfood/sydneys-top-breakfasts.aspx
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
The Greatest Show on Earth (Episode 2)
Other ALTL highlights included the nudist bogan Shari's massive turn around mid-episode. She went from marauding harridan to submissive suck-arse so fast it's almost enough to make her parents sit up and take notice. And who knew a real lady would never open her own car door? Goodness! I have been getting it wrong all these years and I'm sure MBH will be thrilled to know there is yet one more way he can cater to my femininity. So how does it work if I'm driving by myself? Should I park near a good supply of men in the hopes that one will release me from the car? And what do the rules say about climbing out the window? Gosh, ettiquette is a tricky business.
I thought the ladettes would wait till at least week 3 to fall in a tragic heap in Mrs Shrager's arms but tonight not one but two ladettes, Jessica and Kaila were drawn into the bosomosphere, blubbing in their dreadful flat accents about their sad past and hopes for a better future.
Poor Samantha got the flick tonight, and for what? For being a bit hopeless at shelling 4000 quail eggs in half an hour, so a bunch of chinless twats can have a post-rally picnic under ominous British storm clouds, that's what. They always get rid of the frumps early on. No doubt just another predictable tweaking of the reality tv world. But still. Based on lady-like-ish-ness (or the lack of) I reckon that sullen cow Donnelle should have copped it tonight for sure. Waddaya reckon readers? ... readers?
Au revoir Samantha!
Aussie Ladette to Lady is on at 9:30pm Tuesdays on Channel 9.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Thinking Outside the Bottle
Friday, October 23, 2009
The Greatest Show on Earth (Episode 1)
Season two brings us a fresh crop of hard-drinking, hard-living young women all intent on outdoing each other's "ladette" behaviour. The stand out ladette for me as of the first episode is Shari, for whom "clothes just get in the way of a good time". For some reason, despite some pretty off colour behaviour, Shari made it through for another week of televisual humiliation. Perhaps they've recognised that a girl like Shari makes for good television. Or am I being cynical? Letisha got the boot on the first episode so we won't get a chance to plumb the depths of her bogan psyche. Jessica is another stand out ladette, but for my money I reckon Kerryn will bring home the pearl earrings. The rest are a mix of extrovert teens and early twenty somethings, mere episode padding fodder. And of course, Mrs Brewer, Mrs Harbord and Mrs Shrager bellow their way around Eggelston Hall, accusing the girls of being " disgusting sluts". Now that's finishing school!
Check out this link for more info on the girls:
http://channelnine.ninemsn.com.au/aussieladettetolady/ladettes/
I'm taking bets on which ladette will be first to crumple against the ample bosom of Mrs Shrager, sobbing about the terrible life she has led so far and how desperately she wants to turn it all around. I think we'll see some action of this sort by episode 3, episode 4 at the absolute latest.
Also, an honourable mention for whoever best describes the animal Mrs Harbord looks most like.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
7th Annual Sydney Vintage Show
I waited what seemed an age for him to notice me standing demurely off to the side as he falsettoed his way through a number of bon mots with passers by. I had remarked to my companion a few moments earlier: "Wait til he sees me" and she looked through a nearby clothes rack as time passed and my confidence slowly wilted. Oh Christ, I thought, please notice me, this is getting embarrassing! Finally, Jeff/Edna turned in my direction and without pause he exclaimed: "What are you doing here?" Phew! Anyway, we chatted a while and he kept up the falsetto admirably well. My vocal chords were starting to ache in sympathy. I hope he survived the day.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
By Popular Demand ...
Inglourious Basterds
Brad Pitt doing a weird accent. Nazis. Thuggish jews with baseball bats. A vengeful cinema owner and much, much more. The real star of IB was the guy who played Colonel Landa. What a menacing prick he was. Recommended.
District 9
We ended up seeing District 9 'cause our friends got tickets first, then the session proceeded to sell out, then our friends gave us their tickets. What bloody superstars! Thanks Lala & Mark. It was a very entertaining flick, with what Margaret and David call a "predictable narrative arc" but nevertheless it makes my recommended list simply for being set in Jo'berg replete with cool, freaky SA accents and names like Wikas.
The September Issue
Anna Wintour is nothing but a stone cold bitch, and don't let this documentary lead you to believe anything different. She is THE woman responsible for bringing fur back into fashion. Enough said. The true hero of this doco is Grace Coddington, the fashion editor at Vogue. It is obvious she has serious artist talent. Heaven knows why she wastes her vast artist energies on fashion.
$9.99
We took TBC to a Reel Mums session at Dendy Newtown. We missed $9.99 at the Sydney Film Festival this year so I was glad to see it got a cinematic release. I was primarily curious to watch $9.99 as its a Sherman Production, as in the Sherman family who fund the animal rights charity Voiceless. Emile Sherman runs the film production business that has produced such Australian films as Candy, Rabbit Proof Fence and more recently Disgrace. Plus I'm also a sucker for claymation. There was an a-list cast of Australians voicing the characters - Geoffrey Rush, Anthony Lapaglia, Claudia Karvan, Joel Edgerton and a few others I can't remember right now. I enjoyed the film but felt the stories didn't intersect terribly well and relied on being set in the same apartment building.
Anvil! The Story of Anvil
See previous posting for a review of Anvil! Recommended.
Up
I'm not just a sucker for claymation but pretty much all animation, so seeing the new Pixar flick was never in doubt. Great animation with astounding attention to detail, amusing dialogue and characters produced a very good film. Margaret and David also loved it. Definitely not just a kids film as so many would assume. Also, there was a cool little short at the start of the movie about clouds making babies and storks delivering them. Cute.
Julie & Julia
J & J didn't really appeal to me but Mum asked if I would take her to see it and I had a two for one deal for Palace Norton St cinemas after becoming a member, so I thought what the hay (or hey? ... hmmm). J & J was mostly light and fluffy and fun, but Amy Adams' character was annoying and Meryl Streep's performance had to carry the film. Which it did. Recommended if you like this sort of thing.
Moon
I was looking forward to seeing Moon. It looked very suspenseful and I thought I knew how the characters and plot would turn out, but was pleasantly surprised that the 'narrative arc' took another turn altogether. I won't reveal the details as it is a film worth seeing, but I can say Kevin Spacey's onboard computer GERTY didn't turn out to be as menacing as I had assumed. And I expected more suspense but the characters were not left in the dark as is usual in a sci-fi thriller.
It is important to note that Sam Rockwell is a hotty.
What was with Sam's vision of the woman? I didn't understand that.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Movie Madness
Inglourious Basterds (25 August)
District 9 (1 September)
The September Issue (15 September)
$9.99 (17 September)
Anvil! The Story of Anvil (22 September)
Up! (29 September)
Julie & Julia (12 October)
Moon (13 October)
That's roughly a film a week and a half or so. I achieved this glorious feat through a combination of (1) the use of babysitters - 3 times; (2) leaving TBC home with MBH - 4 times; and (3) taking TBC with us to a baby friendly film screening, in this case Reel Mums at the Dendy Newtown. Bloody good invention these baby friendly film screenings. Variously called Reel Mums, Babes in Arms and Mums & Bubs, these screenings allow you to take your Squalling Little Monster to the movies with other mums and SLMs without fear of the stern looks and head shaking that come with public social disapproval. TBC was pretty good, but it wouldn't have mattered if she wasn't 'cause other bubs were piping up at various times during the film. The volume (of the screening not the babies) was loud enough to be heard without being too loud for the babies to sleep.
Nick Cave Exhibition
Friday, October 16, 2009
Reusable Goodness
Monday, September 21, 2009
LwkSyDeL+2
Here's one. See that title up there? What do you think it means? The chemical formula for fabric softener perhaps? Nope. Perhaps my name translated into Cyrillic? Wrong again. In fact it's my coffee order.
LwkSyDeL+2 = large weak soy decaf latte with two sugars.
That's me. Ridiculous? Maybe. Delicious? Definitely.
Monday, May 25, 2009
The Boat That Sucked and Si-nek-duh-kee, New York
MBH and I had quite a few hours between checking out of the hostel and boarding our flight home on a recent trip to Melbourne. The weather was appalling and I was coming down with a bug so we decided to take shelter in a cinema. There wasn't much to choose from so we ended up seeing 'The Boat That Rocked' by default. Man, that movie really sucked. I think it was the combination of my disappointment at seeing PSH lowering himself to such an ignoble role, further disappointment at seeing one of my favourite British comedians, Nick Frost, being just plain not funny, the inclusion of that scrawny, talentless, sleaze-bag Rhys Ifans AND the all pervasive chauvanism of every aspect of the bloody film!
But it was more than that. Holistically, TBTR really, really sucked. AND I felt personally insulted at the inclusion of a character called Marianne just so, when the love story inevitably failed, they had a feeble excuse to play 'So Long, Marianne' by Leonard Cohen. Sigh.
It was with much higher hopes that MBH and I took ourselves off to see 'Synecdoche (pron. si-nek-duh-kee) New York'. It seems they've really let Charlie Kaufman off the leash this time. I have greatly enjoyed his previous works - 'Being John Malkovich', 'Adaptation' and 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind'. Actually, I didn't enjoy 'Human Nature' but that might have been the presence of that scrawny weasel Rhys Ifans.
S,NY was a very interesting film in that it was unashamedly profound in it's subject matter and seemed to be an exercise in trying to draw something real out of an artistic medium. It is possible to try too hard to achieve such lofty goals though. I'm not saying the film was not effective as an exposition of the ultimate realisation of disappointment about life. As each character ages they are one by one confronted by the inescapable fact of death, a fact which drains them of their character. Pretty much everyone dies. I was left feeling that Kaufman's emphasis on futility and sadness drew us too far away from what is real about life, at least for me.
I recommend you see 'Synecdoche, New York' and decide for yourself.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Arresting Bumper Stickers - Part II
This one is a little bit difficult to read, as the photo was taken with my camera phone, through the front windscreen of the car, but it says "I'm polluting your air". How refreshingly honest, I thought to myself. A 4wd driver who publicly acknowledges the impact they're having on the environment. Then I noticed the bottom line of the sticker, in smaller print, http://www.nosuv.org/ which reminded me of a plan some friends and I had years ago of having anti-4wd stickers printed up. We planned to have them printed on the stickiest of sticky, lurid coloured paper using the most powerful glues known to humanity, and then we were going to do 'missions' under cover of darkness to sticker 4wd vehicles. We had some fantastic slogans. If only I could remember them ... But, how wonderful that the subject 4wd driver obviously hadn't noticed the sticker by the time I took the photo. I wonder how long it had been there ?
I couldn't help but warm to the owner of these bumper stickers, reminding me of a short documentary film I saw last year called 'Rare Chicken Rescue' about a man suffering depression whose one passion in life is finding and caring for exotic chickens.
In case you can't read the stickers in the picture, the chook related ones read as follows (from left to right):
DUCK in & have a GANDER, We'll talk CHOOK! http://www.backyardpoultry.com/
Backyard Poultry, More than just a hobby, http://www.backyardpoultry.com/
SHIT HAPPENS, My chooks make it useful! (accompanied by a cartoon of a chook ... er, shitting)Chook MAGNET, http://www.backyardpoultry.com/
DON'T FOLLOW ME, I'm going to a chook show!
I can report that our car currently boasts two bumper stickers, one rather subtle white text on a clear background for FBI fm and the second, a rather less subtle black bumper sticker with white graphics and text promoting Sea Shepherd. MBH recently tried to make the addition of a Collingwood 'Side by Side' Member 2009 sticker. I'm not ashamed to admit I fake cried to avoid that one.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
New PETA video
What kind of person steals a guy's coat?
Learn more at petadishoom.com.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Mickey and Loki
Sadly, Mickey Rourke missed out on an Oscar for his performance in The Wrestler last night, but this lovely little article in the UK Telegraph puts it all in perspective. Mickey's beloved chihuahua Loki died 6 days ago after 18 years as "the love of his life". He would have traded the Oscar for more time with Loki, which just goes to show that Mickey Rourke is one of the few hollywood actors with his head screwed on straight.
Mickey Rourke, For The Love of a Small Dog salutes you.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
I Heart Havaianas
It's not like I'm getting paid to tell you of my love for Havaianas thongs. I heart them so much I'm plugging them for free. A few old pairs have been deployed to the charity bin, but I've still got 7 awesome pairs left ... and I need more. And Havaianas are even more awesome than I originally thought. I just checked their website and it seems they support the WSPA and Animal Liberation.
If you sign up to be a supporter of Animal Liberation, you get a free pair of Havaianas. Helping free animals from cruelty AND becoming the proud owner of super cool thong-wear, gratis? Wow! Clamber to sign up here: http://www.animal-lib.org.au/freethongs/
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Corvette Stingray
Thursday, February 5, 2009
2008 Movie Roundup
My Top Movies of 2008
1. Grindhouse
Just see it. Seriously. I don't remember the last time I was so deeply and satisfyingly entertained in the cinema (or anywhere else for that matter - boom tish!). Technically, Grindhouse was released in 2007 but we caught it at the Chauvel Paddington really late in the season, around Australia Day '08.
Grindhouse comprises two films, complete with faux trailers for other grindhouse style films that I really hope get made. The first, 'Planet Terror' was directed by Roger Rodriguez and the second, 'Death Proof' was directed by the schlock man himself, Quentin Tarantino. Rodriguez and Tarantino's last effort at collaborating produced the fairly dreadful 'From Dusk Till Dawn', but don't let that put you off. Even if you're not really a Tarantino and/or Rodriguez fan I would still encourage you to check out Grindhouse. As a homage to the drive-in trash movies of the 70's and early 80's, Grindhouse simply blows them all away!
Planet Terror is your standard Hero Stripper Fights The Evil Zombies with a touch of Government Experiment Goes Catastrophically Wrong. You know that old chestnut. Performances from Rose "Cherry Darling" McGowan, Josh Brolin, Bruce Willis and many others were so f*cked up and hilarious, this one really needs to be seen to be believed.
Death Proof follows in Kill Bill's footsteps (sort of) by casting amazing, strong, arse-kicking female leads. You can really tell how much Tarantino adores and is in awe of women ... in his own unique and exploitative way. I don't remember seeing Kurt Russell ever play the baddie before, and he does a truly nasty and convincing job in this role. Rose McGowan makes another appearance here, but not quite as an arse-kicking hero type.
I enjoyed Death Proof so much I had to hand over the car keys to MBH for the trip home 'cause I knew there was a good chance I'd wanna pull off some pretty fun driving stunts ... see it for yourself, you'll see what I mean.
I'm waiting for Grindhouse to be released as a box set, currently only available as separate dvds and I'm not sure if the additional trailers are included on the indivdual releases. With titles like "Machete", "Thanksgiving", "Werewolf Women of the SS" and "Don't!" you need to see the trailers to get the full "grindhouse" experience. You can tell they had a lot of fun coming up with the trailers, tongue firming in cheek.
See Grindhouse. You have no choice.
2. Anvil! The Story of Anvil
We saw this at the Metro Theatre as part of the Sydney Film Festival, and Anvil! is easily the best rock doco, if not the best doco, I've ever seen. Better than Metallica: Some Kind of Monster which pretty much set the standard a few years ago. Anvil! follows the struggles of the Canadian metal band of the same name to keep rocking and hopefully one day break the big time, 30 years on. Anvil influenced bands like Metallica, Slayer and Anthrax, but for some reason never really made it themselves. As Lars Ulrich puts it "maybe it's because they're Canadian".
The meat of the story is the relationship between the lead singer "Lips" Kudrow and his guitarist and childhood friend Robb Reiner. They fight and hug there way through a failed tour of Europe and recording their 13th studio album. Anvil! reeks of Spinal Tap, but somehow you get the feeling these guys are the real deal.
Criminally, Anvil! didn't get a cinematic release in Australia, however it has been released on dvd. I urge you to see it.
Check out the preview on YouTube: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=DT7v2nUcmek
3. King of Kong
Another doco that deserves a big recommendation is the fantastic, hilarious King of Kong. King of Kong takes us into the unexpected and inexplicably long-lived world of the arcade gamer. These guys who were in their late teens when classic games like Donkey Kong, Q*bert and Pac Man were released still hang out together, play games together and hold championships together. I know. Totally lame.
Their world is turned upside down when an 'outsider' submits the video tape of his top Donkey Kong score to the people who decide on the world rankings of such things. King of Kong is a classic story of good versus evil, and the weird part is I found myself really caring about what happened.
Definitely see this one, you'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll shake your fist at the injustice.
Other Movies of 2008
Please note, I make it a rule never to recommend a movie that I rated less than 4 stars.
Here is a list of my four star rated, and therefore recommended movies for 2008:
Juno - everyone liked this movie
Gone Baby Gone - directed by Ben Affleck, pretty disturbing in parts
Choke - another highlight from the Sydney Film Festival
The Dark Knight - hate to jump on the bandwagon here, but Heath rocked this movie
Wall-e - clever and funny critique of modern, consumer society
Man On Wire - see previous post for a review
***
3.5 Stars
I also saw these films at the cinema in 2008, but cannot recommend them as previously stated 'cause they didn't make the four star cut:
I'm Not There - Some kind of Bob Dylan life story re-telling *yawn*
Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street - lots of red paint
Ironman - I always like a bit of Robert Downey Jr
The Innocents - an old Deborah Kerr "gothic horror" as part of the Sydney Film Festival Deborah Kerr retrospective
The Savages - love Phillip Seymour Hoffman & Laura Linney, hate slow moving melodramas
Not Quite Hollywood - worth seeing for the interview with Quentin Tarantino, that man is a freak, but I'm still not a fan of so-called 'ozploitation' films
Tropic Thunder - I can't go past a Ben Stiller film, but it probably could have waited for the dvd release
You, The Living - subtitled Swedish film directed by Roy Andersson, rather slow moving as subtitled Swedish films tend to be
Hellboy 2: The Golden Army - directed by Guillermo del Toro, lots of fantasy fun, no need to follow the plot
Burn After Reading - Brad Pitt was great in this film and I expected to rate the newest Coen Bros higher, but here we are ...
***
3 Stars
Now we're getting into the really ordinary stuff.
Death at a Funeral - directed by Frank Oz
Lust, Caution - there was only one interesting scene in this film
Be Kind Rewind - directed by Michel Gondry with the cuteness of Mos Def
Lars and the Real Girl - unbelievable and therefore ultimately bad
Happy Go Lucky - directed by Mike Leigh, Scott the driving instructor was good
The Wackness - *yawn*
In Bruges - not sure why this film got such good reviews
Fear(s) in the Dark - comprised of short, animated nightmarish stories in black and white
Married Life - Chris Cooper, Pierce Brosnan, Patricia Clarkson and Rachel McAdams all upstaged by the gorgeous art deco set design and costuming
Persepolis - adapted from an Iranian graphic novel
Where in the World is Osama Bin Laden - on reflection, I should have rated this doco much lower
Animals in Love - we got free tickets to this doco about animals courting and having sex
Twilight - oh man, this sucked!
The Day The Earth Stood Still - enviro conscious remake with Keanu as Klaatu, sure why not?
***
2.5 Stars
Dredging the bottom of the barrel now ...
The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emporer - every time a character opened their mouth I cringed further into my seat
***
2 Stars
Deeply embarrassing to admit I paid money to see ...
The House Bunny - see previous post for a review of this dreadful pap